..

=]

2008-03-06T04:00:02Z

I am so ridiculously content with everything right now. Zach and Danielle came over for a while yesterday. We played a really badass game of Monopoly =]. Sarah came home with me after pit today. we went to my aunt's for dinner and then to chamberrrr. Two solid good days! After long debate the room for Washington is FINALLY set up. Me Sarah Danielle and Ali <3 better than the last 2 years combined =]. My birthday is in like 3 weeks. I might possibly be buying a car this saturday. Danielles on friday, getting muh cookiessss. SAT results on the 20th, Matt comes home that day too. Danielle is right, all we talk about is France or Ireland. It really is going to be amazing next year =]

Things are so chill right now, I absolutely love it.

=]

2008-02-13T01:20:12Z

In the past 2 days I've gotten mail from over 20 colleges. It's so overwhelming, yet so exciting! They come in such large numbers I'm now resorting to looking at the address and if it does not seem impressive or like a high populated area.. next one! Even with all these eye opening possibilities, my heart is set on Boston College. It is the most beautiful place and the prestige is basically only beaten by the Ivy's. <3333. Walter went up there this past weekend and now knows this feeling too. It honestly just steals your heart! So if all goes to plan Walter will be accepted and go, and I will continue my hard work this year so I will also be accepted and join Matt and him. What a lovely plan! I am so excited to put myself into years worth of debt to receive an education you can only dream of, and to party like you only wish you could. And then unlike you, have an extremelyyyyyy high chance of having a job set for me so I can continue to succeed. I can't fucking wait! <33333!

I can name 3 hypocritical statements you said recently. BITCH.

2008-02-07T20:44:08Z

Today Levik was absent again. We had a discussion on how sex with obese people can't possibly be fulfilling. And how you're better off thinking of other people. Minutes later I had a double orchestra rehearsal with the people from wind ensemble. Ohhhh the shitty shitty irony.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. I don't think I have ever felt this sad before. I can't bare to think that to celebrate the occasion we will be going to the cemetery to stare at the dirt that gives me absolutely no fulfillment time and time again. This past week has only made it more difficult too. Normally I'd come home and tell her of how Caroline was a stupid bitch, and we'd laugh and she'd tell me what not to do. But instead I come home to my empty house for hours until my dad comes home. Not that it's any better when hes home, cause it's not. I had the worst cry last night. =\.

I think its just amazing how some people can be so into themselves, and just not have the slightest regard for others. Shit happens people. You never know what can change in a single second. Honestly.

I surely don't hate my life, like it may seem. I just hate that this is the rest of my life. If you understand that.

I told you I was better at this.

2008-02-01T04:59:10Z

This week has truely been one of a kind..unfortunately a shitty kind. I hope those of you who take everything for granted never really have to lose it. Two major let downs in less than 24 hours must be some sort of record. Cool. Hey Katie lets hang out! Kay bye.

Babylon Sistassss, Shake it!

2008-01-23T01:58:45Z

Vermont was nice. Very very veryyyyy cold, but a nice get away. Sunday/Monday was like -10° after wind chill.. I think that explains it. I've come to love spending time with my aunt and cousins, its so nice. My aunt has sorta taken over the mother role, but not at the same time. She's so similar to my mom and I never really noticed it. It was comforting at times but terribly real at others. I love how Alexa and I have become so close too <333 I'm really happy for my aunt, Carl really is a great guy. He fits in so perfectly with everyone =].
I'm trying to sort things out right now. I honestly have such little faith in him, sucks bro. I really want things to finally work out. I guess I just have to be patient and keep telling myself he won't fuck me over again. We all know he probably will.
I feel so disconnected from most people these days. I have my few close friends, and that's really all I want around. I feel so changed now It's almost like the rest of the teenage population is from another world. It's hard to explain I guess. That's why writing on here sucks, anything I'd really want to say will probably be viewed negatively.
Like the fact that Saturday is 2 months since my mom passed away. To me it's weird, so fucking weird. My life has become a pattern of waking up, school, coming home to an empty house, making dinner, exchanging minimal words with my dad when he finally comes home, shower and then sleep. To everyone else I'm sure me even speaking about anything like this is viewed as either complaining or like I'm a messed up child now. I feel as if neither is true. I like to talk about my mom because it keeps her alive. Not many people deserve to hear much more, so that's that.
Part I of the English regents was today. So beyond pointless. I really don't even find it necessary to return for the second half tomorrow. Lameee. Went to the diner with a bunch of people after, it was good. Came home to the two mexicans working on my bathroom. They stayed until like 5 minutes before my dad got home. They're always singing along with the radio. It's super creepy/funny cause its alwaysss songs like Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry. The bathroom is coming along soooo nicely. Last day is Friday, I'm excited =]=].
I'm actually kind of looking forward to Chamber tomorrow night. I feel like playing with everyone <3. It should be pretty gooood.
Anything else? Nah. Hope all is well for everyone.

yoitsalyssa @ 2008-01-10T17:52:00

2008-01-10T23:08:02Z

Things are sorta weird right now. The New Year was hard, and that resulted in a difficult week last week. Made me realize a lot more than I would've liked to. I think I just want to get all the work I need to make up done so I can relax the next week before the quarter ends.
I'm in desperate need of getting away from this place. I'm going to Vermont with my aunt/her fiancé/his kids/my cousins. I definitely need a good weekend with Alexa discussing our hate for those damn birds. And yeah, my aunt got engaged =]. Anywayyyy Vermont is coming at a good time to say the least.

That's it. Vague and boring. Pz.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-12-27T12:03:00

2007-12-27T18:06:49Z

I don't really enjoy updating anymore, but I figured I might as well put a short one up here.

stayed at my cousins sunday night. we watched our favorite old Mary-Kate & Ashley movie.. Holiday in the sun<3
1st time christmas eve wasn't at my house.. ever. so fucking weird.
christmas wasn't christmas at all.
i want to punch phyllis. overandoverandover.
I'm sick! 5th christmas in a row babyyyy.
I'm tired of waiting around for something to change your mind. I really think if I had the chance to have someone else in the same situation, I would take it. The fact that you get it too only makes me want to talk to you. Too bad I have no clue what your problem is.
yesterday was a month. one entire month already.
i'm not looking forward to new years. first year without her. blah.
.
i don't like sounding so negative in this all the time because i don't really think i am. i'm not sure how one is supposed to deal with losing their mother at this point in life, but i feel like for the most part i'm doing well.
I can't really say that this year was the best, because in many ways it was the exact opposite. However, I can say that good things came from this year and that it will certainly be one to remember. I've become close with so many people this year. The truest of friends have stuck it out and proved themselves amazing. I've joined a challenging orchestra that probably makes life more difficult than anything, but is so rewarding in the end. I developed a relationship with my mom.. a really close one. I learned to find the good in the worst situations. I doubled my AP work load and so far have been successful in managing excellent grades in both. I've never felt closer to my aunt and my cousins, and I love it. I've grown up a whole lot. And even though I have lost so much, I know I am a stronger person. I don't care how typical that sounds.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-12-09T22:37:00

2007-12-10T03:55:13Z

so apparently everyone is worried about me.
my grandma is. my aunt is. my great aunt is. ms dinovis is. the people at my brothers college are! i know my dad is. and my mom was too.
i originally wrote a really long entry about how today we went to the cemetery to visit my mom and how it was ruined by the presence of my other aunt. she is an awful person and it's nothing you need to know about really. just another complication in this "process", or whatever it is.
there isn't really any need to comment these entries right now. they're vague, dull, and written at my shitty moments. That's all.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-12-05T17:45:00

2007-12-05T22:49:12Z

my mom was in my dream last night. well really, she was the dream.
i woke up and thought everything was back to normal.
i was beginning to think i was immune to this pain. that maybe i was prepared enough that i wouldn't even feel it. that was very naive and obviously not true. it just took a little while.
it is the worst when the truth is, she was the only one who could pick me up when i felt like this.

matt needs to come back home. this house is too empty and i feel too alone.
15 days is too long.

if you are going to comment, just please don't comment telling me you feel bad. i know everyone means well, i really do appreciate it. i just can't stand it anymore. and i'm sorry if that sounded really mean. =[

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-11-29T17:48:00

2007-11-29T23:12:50Z

I think everyone knows what this will be about..

Last night broke me a little bit, but I really couldn't say goodbye this morning.
Everyone keeps telling me it will get a little bit easier each day. I don't even see how that is possible =[. It doesn't even seem real yet. I guess it's supposed to seem impossible right now?
For the past 9 months my mom has been there every second of every single day, because she couldn't do anything else. I like to tell myself it makes this a little bit easier because I've watched the pain never stop and only get worse. I have been there since day one, and I held her hand until the very last second. Everyone seems shocked when they heard I was able to hold my mothers hand while she died, but really.. it is the only place I wanted to be. I'd like to believe she knew I was there.
My mom fought hard for 9 months. Even after she found out she was terminal, she kept fighting. No one believed she could do it. She did everything they asked of her and still kept coming back for more. I still can't imagine my life without her, and it's here.
After we placed our flowers on the casket at the burial today my dad held me and told me how proud he was of me. The way his voice sounded was so comforting. He told me she took our love with her, and left all of hers for us.
I've never thought of it as a compliment when I was told that I was just like her until this. I only hope I can ever be half the person she was. <3

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-11-18T19:36:00

2007-11-19T00:51:20Z

This is random, and unorganized. I wouldn't bother reading.

I spent 9 and a half hours at the hospital today. that makes it 20 since thursday. my dad has been there probably triple that. lovelylovely. I'd rather be there than anywhere else though. The second I leave the room I just feel awful. Bleh.
Saturday my grandma and great aunt were on the way to visit my mom and they got into a car accident. so they were in the hospital too! my aunt and I found it really funny. honestly, you can't make this shit up.
I'm falling behind on homework again, just like I did last year. I really don't care!
my dad made me go to the Sound Symphony concert last night. he was supposed to go with my aunt, but since my whole family decided to wind up in the hospital they couldn't go. totally understandable. I wouldn't have went if he didn't force me. Went out to eat after with Sarah Zach and Drew. uh yeah.
I didn't go to work today obviously. I don't care if they were mad!
School then hospital tomorrow, and every day after that until my mom is discharged. Hopefully she will be home for thanksgiving, I don't know if she will be though.
I'm pretty sure I watched the lady across the hall from her room die today, it was pretty frightening.
Matt comes home Tuesday. yeahhhhh.
We live off of chinese food now, its actually getting pretty lame.
I keep having really serious talks with my dad, and I have not cried once. If I actually care about you, you know that already.
I need to clean this house, it's so messy. No one is home long enough to even put something away properly. My poor dog is being neglected. I took the night off to catch up on homework, cleaning and to give my dog some TLC.
I should do all that now. Bye!

hey katie, who said you weren't an annoying cunt??

2007-11-09T23:13:50Z

things are pretty sweet right now. i really have nothing to complain about. the last 2 weeks or so were really hard for some reason. everything is all good now. 6 months babyyyyyyy <3 I don't even care if its not that long, it's so much better than what I was expecting. <33 =]!!!
i've rid my life completely from all the trash that used to be in it. i've never felt better about something like this <3.
i don't get to see drew until like next saturday? that pretty much sucks.
sound symphony concert next saturday, chyeahh.
matt comes home a few days after <3.
the quarter ended today. i got an 82 on my AP US test. i think i may have done decent on the physics test today.
i'm so content with everything, it's pretty amazing =]

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-28T18:25:00

2007-10-28T22:42:05Z

I seem to only update on Sundays!
this week was good. monday and tuesday are always boring.
wednesday. started our trick or treat street crap at tri-m. chamber that night
thursay. tri-m and sound symphony. i love the car rides to and from sound symphony <3 they're the bestttttttt.
friday. more tri-m. gaygay. went to sarahs with drew zach won and cassandra! the usual plus 2 people. america's next top model, pizza. nature trail in the rain<3 park in the rain<3
saturday. worked 9-3. went shopping with my parents! sarah and drew came over. got checkers for the first time ever! sarah got starbucks. watched hide and seek & ate 79 m&m's. they left at like 12:15ishhh.
today! worked 7-2. it was actually a good day, christine and I are awesome together. came home and napped for like 2 hours. blahblah. not doing homework =] yeah!

halloween/trick or treat street on wednesday. i actually don't care? same crap every week. sound symphony thursday, sarahdrewzach all weekend. perfect foursome much? <3333 them. =].

things are looking up kiddies. =]

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-20T16:22:00

2007-10-20T20:46:19Z

this week was interesting.
I got my first AP US test back.. 65. =]!
I managed 2 85's on the lab quizzes I swore I failed in physics =]
My lowest grade in Italian so far is a 92.
I haven't missed one homework in any class yet.
I'd say that's almost a complete turn around from last year!

Wednesday was the faculty concert at Newfield, so there was no chamber. It was.. pretty bad actually. Ms. Herrick can't play violin, its official. The jazz band was good though. Sev is amazing, I had no idea.
Thursday was funny. College fair 2nd and 3rd period. someone stole my phone and ipod, joke. The rest of the day was actually really good. I find that I'm able to get over things a lot easier than ever before. I really like it. Sound Symphony that nightttt. The cellist came to play Dvorak with us. She's 16 and beyond amazing. I really hate Kim not being there with meeeee =[ Good thing she's never missing one everrrr again <3.
Friday.. I think the school day went well? I know I had a physics test, and it wasn't that bad. Pep rally was cancelled due to weather.. boo hoo. Tri-M meeting after schoooool.. major trick or treat street planning =]. I'm excited to start staying after to make all this crappp & whatnot! After school I ran some errands with my dadddd and then we went and bought my phone.. again. only this time it was $270! That's alright, I couldn't even stand being without it for a day. <3. All is back to normal now. I'll get myself an ipod once I get enough money back into my account that will make me happy.
Last night was girls night at Sarah's <333 Of courseeeee Zach and Drew came over too. We got chinese fooooood, and watched America's Next Top Model, and then we made the boys watch The Notebook. Her kitten is the cutest thing in the entire worldddddd =] tjhenhkten it was a good night <333.
For some reason I set my alarm for school time this morning, so I got up at 5:30. I realized that was wrong and went to sleep till 7. Woke up, got ready and then PSAT's. haha I'm interested to see how I did without studying =]. I think I'm doing something with Sarah and maybeeee Drew tonight?????? I don't know! I'm in an extremely good mood though =]!

I think I should have trusted my original thoughts, it would have turned out better. I'd love if things would work out this time around. Maybe this time there won't be any extra distractionssssss. yanno yanno =] maybemaybemaybeee<3
bye kids!

Just don't forget to think about me

2007-10-14T00:23:53Z

Please take me by the hand
it's so cold out tonight.

thanks for perfect lyrics Blink 182!

I'm talking to erica about everything, as I always do, and I just realized that I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't want to not do anything and have it all fall apart, but I don't want to try too hard and completely ruin it. This is why I usually just back down! I promised myself I wouldn't this time though, and I'm trying really hard not to. How I felt when things were great makes this all worth it <3.

what do I doooooo?!

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-08T15:12:00

2007-10-08T19:49:02Z

My last entry was too hostile, I need to stop letting my anger or any other emotion speak for me! I still find myself confused even though the situation has completely changed from a complicated mess to basically nonexistent. This is why I seriously debate if I'm better off without all this. I get too used to having someone and when it doesn't work it really sucks. I feel like I never learn from my mistakes because I don't know they're mistakes until it is too late, jdnhkjnet! Right now I'm sticking with I don't regret anything. Yes, sure I wish things had worked out differently, but regret is pointless.
Matt came home this weekend.. we were both sick. He left this morning. I got into a fight with my mom a few minutes ago and we both said ridiculous things, like we always do. I can't stand when we fight! I've had so much anger building the past week or so and I completely resent the lack of control I have over myself. I'm starting to get back into the whole "this isn't fair" thing. I really don't want to because it does no good for me. And these are the times when I do want someone in my life. How ironic/confusing/hypocritical?
This is what happens when I'm bored.. I analyze everything. No one should ever give me free time, really. I've been so happy the past few weeks. I'm sure everyone has their own ideas why blahblah so do I. I want that by myself. It would be so perfect if it was possible to not let other people effect your happiness. It would it would.

p.s. this song is so cute.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-06T18:10:00

2007-10-06T22:29:04Z

well this was an interesting few weeks. too bad you're pathetic and have no balls. you deserve everything you get. I'm pretty sure that's me being nice too =].

yesterday was an awful day! so awful that my mom felt bad for me and ungrounded meeee. so drew picked me up and I spent my night with him zach and sarah <3 hjgkjyhnbjhg. Its something i know i need to work on, but I think it can end well.
I just talked to Katie for the first time in what seems like forever. I think our last real conversation was the night of the scavenger hunt. that shittyshitty night. Everything is straightened out now, and I feel so silly. We tried to keep something from people who knew all along! lololol love her <3

idk! pz.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-05T16:10:00

2007-10-05T20:13:07Z

maybe i am a strong person? i never thought i was really, until i realized how many weak people that i know. life goes on, there is no point in feeling sorry for yourself. maybe it just came with what i have to deal with. i don't remember ever being like this, i don't know. all i can say is today is a day when my weakness is all i feel. i really hate today.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-10-01T15:10:00

2007-10-01T21:11:39Z

So this weekend was Boston College's parents weekendddd. It was such a nice weekend, and I really love it up there <3.
friday night i got like 3 hours of sleep. really. woke up at 5:30. left at like 7. arrived at 12:30ish. went to matt's dorm for like 3 secs to get changed and then went to the football game! matt got me a student ticket so he snuck me in. ha. it was an easy team so it was kinda boring. left the game at like 4:30. my dads cousins are BC alumni and they have a tailgating spot so we post game tailgated with them for a while. somehow hours passed? went shopping with matt/to dinner with my rents. they dropped us off at maybe 10:30ish? got readyyyyy in his dorm and then went out. had a decent amount of alcohol at various places, met too many people to even begin to remember, repeated a few times and got back at like 3:30. slept till the rents called and woke us upppp. went out for brunch. got tim his superfan shirt while getting a more in depth tour of my dream college<3 andddddd then left for home at like 2:30. longest drive ever! geez so much traffic. got home at like 8ish and thats about it with like no details involved. good weekend <3333333
I woke up really late this morning and went to school 2nd perioddd. the rest of the day was kinda bleh but whatev! I have no idea whats going on right now seeing as how the roles have suddenly reversed. its actually kind of comical. may the best one win.. or something like that . I think I'm going to practice tonight, cause I actually have the time. cool. bye!

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-27T17:10:00

2007-09-27T21:16:36Z

so things are pretty interesting right now, to say the least.
last night's chamber rehearsal was interesting. i think sam was scared to sit with me. =[ i missed my kimmmmy!
today was long, and annoying. tonight is busy and never ending. blah. i have a lot of homework to do before i go to sound symphony tonight, and i'm pretty sure i'm going to do like none of it. i lack motivation to do anything right now.
i need to decide if i should approach a certain topic or just sit back and let it happen. i'm not completely sure. i should probably figure it out soon.
we're going to Boston this weekend to visit matttttt! i'm so excited. really! <333 i just need to get out of here for a few days, and what's a better place than to my dream college with my brother who i miss a ridiculous amount? exactly. <3. right now it's just my dad and i with a possibility of my mom. i hope she can come with us!
this was a dull entry that served no point. i'm in a very weird mood right now. sorrrrry kids.

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-24T14:46:00

2007-09-24T19:13:59Z

didn't write the details i said i would, oops.
friday- went out with sarah zach and drewww. ate at Friday's, malled it a bit, then Mary's Grave. walked on the beach, through woods, trespassed on peoples property. went to pond path parkkk and then drew drove me home.
saturday- went shopping with dani. katie met us there after work. went back to dani's. mike met us there. kidnapped drew. helped with the scavenger hunt. no more details on that =]
sunday- worked 7-2. i was so sick the entire time =[. did hw when i got home, sorted some crap out, found some more crap out. i have wonderfulllll friends. joke.
today was prettttttty good. i love kim for backing my indecisiveness. and i love how she picks the option that is wrong and writes it all over my physics crap =] =] =]. i'm pretty sure i failed the AP key terms quiz today, i didn't do so well on the precalc test, and i definitely did the AP english response/essay thing wrong tooooo. haha. that class is killing me.
i'm very bothered by something that went on the other night. i'm more disappointed than anything actually. blah. again, i have wonderfulllll friends. even bigger joke. i think i am going to leave it alone though. i'm no longer putting effort either way, what happens will happen.
so all in alllll.. friday was fun, saturday was too =]. this week has nothing awful going on. anddd hopefully we are going to Boston this weekend to see Matt =]! byeee

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-21T23:23:00

2007-09-22T03:24:16Z

Tonight was the most fun I have had in a while. Sarah, Zach, Drew.. <3 youuuu. Details tomorrow? or soon. goodnight =]

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-20T16:13:00

2007-09-20T20:33:48Z

school is school. there's a lot of work involved, and I'm doing it all for once. everyone seems to be noticing the extra effort this year. it's good I guess.
nothing is getting any easier. I suppose it was foolish to hope for a turn around in the near future. things are only going to get worse, and I am really trying to make myself accept that. it's becoming a real challenge to try and balance everything now. i come home and spend hours alone doing work and spend no time with my mom. i want to spend every second of the day with her, but i just can't. i had a feeling this would happennnnn. it's just hard to keep everything together more than ever. =\.
matt called yesterday, talked to him for a while. sometimes it's odd catching up with him. theres always that awkwardness in conversations where we dance around the obvious. not just with him, with my dad too. i hate that.
people seem to be getting on my nerves more than ever lately. don't say that your life sucks because a few people don't think you're amazing, don't complain that people you treated like crap don't care as much for you anymore, and don't complain about a stupid DVD. everyone has their problems, but come onnnnn. there are people in the world who have nothing! ugh. i'm sure it's just because i'm on emotional rollercoaster these days. i don't knowww.
music is becoming such a key thing in my life this year. anddd I'm becoming much closer with the people it brings with it. it's nice. i am so thankful to have kim. there is no time that i wouldn't turn to her, for anything. everything she does for me makes me just so grateful <3
first chamber rehearsal was last night. the music is really easy? quartet music is ridiculous though. ha. sound symphony tonight. yannnnnnno.
there is this new kid in my physics class, and as Dani sad "he's beautiful". true storyyyyyyy.

kay that's all. bye!

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-14T21:29:00

2007-09-15T01:48:57Z

i'm awful at updating. 6 days of school are done? cool only 176 left. school is a lot of work, usually 3 hours+ of hw a night. which i am actually doing for once =] its a pain in the ass cause i'm really not used to it, but it will hopefully pay off soon. blahblah.
wednesday night i went to the mall/friday's with erica and jill <3
thursday went to kim's and then we went to sound symphony. woahwoah. that's right. it was as ridiculous as i expected it to be. being around 40 year olds and a few prodigy teens is really intimidating, and kim and i are going to need to work for this. pieces: Dvorak: Cello Concerto, Aaron Copland: Outdoor Overture, Schubert: Symphony No. 8 (Unfinished). youtube them and you'll know why this seems impossibleeee.
today! oh man oh man. convinced my parents to bring me to buy a viola, finally. so we went to Donato's in Islip? What a sweet old italian man <333333333333333 $1,953 later, i now have a viola that i kinda sorta loveeee. i'm putting 1,000 into it and my parents are paying the $900. it was more than i wanted to spend, but once i played it there just was no other option. got a new bow/case too =] good day.
tomorrow i'm going shopping with dani, cause i desperately need clothes. i need to drop off the sound symphony music at kims and then i have a sweet 16 for this girl i work with. whatevvv.
sunday work 7-3. what else is new? then either my aunts house or homework. blahblah.

i just set myself back $1,000 for that car i need to get next year. OH MUSIC <3333

yoitsalyssa @ 2007-09-07T16:53:00

2007-09-07T21:58:00Z

so that normal slight excitement you usually get before the first day of school never happened this year. yeah it's nice to see everyone again, but i'm just not ready for all this year will be bringing. rundown time!
1- AP US.. Strong seems like she enjoys rambling on in a boring mono tone voice. not the best for a first period AP history class. maybe i need a voice like mama D's to keep me awake. <3r.i.p chemistry<3 had the first key terms quiz today, I'm pretty sure i got a 100. love my kimmy <3
2- Precalc.. Melfiiiiii <3 so glad i have her again. i could do without the realllly annoying people in the back who never shut up, but i suppose we will all learn to shut them out. kim and ali are my lovers<3
3- AP Language and Composition.. Stowell seems sweet enough. The room and work though, well not so much. We're in the smallest stadium seating room. yeah the one with like no lighting. and its freezing! the assignments already are ridiculous. A letter/essay thing the first night, and an essay the second? this doesn't look too good for the future. =[. kimmy though <3
4- Italian.. fucking Ferreira. She put danielle in front of me, again! <3 seriously shes asking to hate us and vice versa. zach is pretty close too so they're my lovers 4th per, its my only class without kim!
5- A days are fuhreeeee. B days are gym. i have the oddest mix of people in my class. really good period though. kim, sara, sarah <33
6- Music Theory.. Sevian asked the weirdest question today. it had everyone getting really frustrated. haaaaa. kim zach sara <3
7- Physics.. it seems interesting enough. levik is living up to my expectations so far. i just need steady good grades and I'm good. kim brad kevin kyle brian (x2) <3
8- A days i have labbbb. B days are fuhreee with the world <3
9- Orchestra.. wow. over 60 people. wayyy too much. too many sophmores. i don't have a clue what she was thinking. started playing today, what a joke this will be. Phantom of the Opera, how will you ever get done?

i definitely have my work cut out for me. that's for sure. i've got enough decent people in all my classes, and 2 hall lockers that suit me well. not to mention having my beloved kimmy in 8 of my classes. <333. chamber auditions are monday. blah blah. so many sophmores signed up. sorry kids, not much luck there. they will have to earn their place, just like we did. =]

i've had a lot on my mind lately. the usual a bit more intense plus more. yeahyeah. i think i'll leave with some lyrics. they explain. byeeee

Sleep well, darling
I'm desperate to say now I need you more than ever.
but all I could say was goodnight.

this is for a girl back home,
she tore down all my walls.
left me for all she had known,
but I pushed it all away from me.

and no no, even if I knew,
even if I knew what to say to you.
its just to late to make you stay,
Im sick of fighting this broken fate.

but someone else gets to tell you,
that you're beautiful.